As I started with the energy of Sanctuary, I found myself getting busier and busier in my own life. Being a full-time caregiver for my beautiful 11-month-old granddaughter, plus being a relief caregiver for a man my partner cares for (who lives with us), plus all the household duties I have chosen to take on, and spending my ‘spare time’ working on my own projects — all of this has been leaving me with a sense of having no time for myself.
This is perfect, because as I ‘live’ the needs, my consciousness is now focusing on my own overwhelm, which takes me out of the feeling of Sanctuary. Right now, I need Time.
I need time to focus on myself. I need time to spend in nature. I need time to spend with my beloved partner. I need time away from everything and every request. I need time to have my own needs met, even when all around me may be seemingly needing me. I need Time.
What I haven’t realized until this very second is…my time BELONGS to ME. I decide how it is used and no one can take it away from me. I can only give it to others with my permission, and that is my choice.
When I am feeling the lack of Time so strongly, I feel overwhelmed, worn out, like I’m spinning my wheels, and that life is out-of-control and a somewhat meaningless. When I focus on what I need, when I take back my Time, I feel more in Sanctuary. I feel like my body can relax, like I can rest on all levels, that I can release my mind from the thoughts of what needs to be done and just on what I need right now. When that happens, I feel like I am in a self-loving state, which leaves me less resentful and more grateful for all that I have, and all that I ‘get’ to experience.
This state of gratefulness brings me peace firstly and joy secondly.
I need Time.